Driver's License

I went to get my driver's license renewed last week. I waited in line, I checked the organ donor box, I updated my "weight" to something I could honestly weigh if I just wouldn't eat, I waited some more, and then I took my turn in the chair, faced the camera and tried not to blink.

The camera flashed. My eyes stayed open (quite an accomplishment, if you've never taken my picture). And then the entire system crashed.

Yeah, entire. I didn't just break the camera, I broke the whole state-driver's-license computer system.

The tag agent politely assured me again and again that this had never happened before, which consoled me none whatsoever. Thank God I had fixed my hair and worn some makeup or else the whole building might have blown up.

I waited 15 long minutes while workers flipped switches and pushed buttons and cursed until the system recovered. Then we had to start all over again. Organ donor, check. The weight I would love to be, check. Eyes open for the flash, check. Scattered applause from everyone in line behind me as I was handed my license, check. Don't have to do that again for another four years, CHECK.